Not So Sleeping Beauty
by Sapphire X Dreams
Summary: Long ago there lived a king and queen who said everyday, "If only we had a child!" Now their dream comes true- in the form of three insane fairies, a not-so prissy princess, and a foul-mouthed prince! Very true indeed. Gift for Sakima's b-day. Hidan x Sakima


_Not So Sleeping Beauty _

**Alternate Title: **_His Sleepless Beauty _

_**Disclaimer**_**: **I don't own Naruto or any of its characters, they belong to Kishimoto Masashi. I don't own _Sleeping Beauty_, it belongs to the Brothers Grimm. The elements from the _Disney_ movie, belong to _Disney_. I also don't own the creation of iPods, docking stations and such. That belongs to _Apple. _All of the songs in the story (_My Life Would Suck Without You_, Stupid MF, etc.) do NOT belong to me.I DID NOT DO THE TRANSLATION OF THE STORY!

Uchiha Sakima belongs to **Sakima Uchiha and Mei Katsueki **(author on FanFiction . net), Yumi belongs to **Yumi Seiji** (author on FanFiction . net) Sashimi belongs to **SilverFox-Chan91** (author on FanFiction . net), and Sapphire belongs to me, **Sapphire X Dreams** (OBVIOUSLY an author on FanFiction . net)

_**Genre (s):**_ _Parody | Humor | Romance _

_**Rating: **__T _

_**Time Setting: AU**_- Before time skip (that means the Rookie are 12, Kakashi is 26, Suigetsu and Karin are 14, Juugo is 16, Kakuzu is 90 (not much better, I know), Deidara is 17, Itachi is 18 and... I'm sure you can figure out the rest)

* * *

Sapphire X Dreams: Okay, let's get this started!! Who wants to be the narrator?!

Kiba: Shouldn't you be in make-up?

Sapphire X Dreams: Shut up.

Sapphire X Dreams: Who wants to narrate?! (pounces up and down)

Sasuke: Hn... (turns away)

Sakura: (looks at Sasuke) Uh...

Naruto: Me, me, me!!! (jumping up and down)

Sapphire: Okay! Since Shikamaru's so eager, we'll let him do it.

Shikamaru: What, me? You didn't even see Naruto! He was waving like crazy.

Sapphire X Dreams: (continues smiling)

Shikamaru: Darn. This'll be so troublesome.

Sapphire X Dreams: You can swap with Kakashi or something half-way through, 'kay? (leaves for the make-up department)

Shikamaru: (sighs and takes out _Sleeping Beauty_ book)

Cast: ENJOY THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

"_**Long ago there lived a king and queen who said every day, "Oh, if only we had a child! But for a long time they had none." **_

"If only we had a child! It would be so wonderful, would it not, Pein?" the blue-haired queen sighed, sitting upon her perch by the window as she usually did.

She turned her orange eyes to the king, awaiting his response.

"Pein...?"

"Huh? Oh, yes. A brat, I'd love one."

"I'll throw my crown at your royal head if you don't mean it."

The king straightened up, nodding furiously. "Y-Yes, Konan! A child, I've always dreamt of having one!"

The queen smiled wryly to herself. "I knew you felt the same way."

"_**One day, as the queen was bathing in a spring and dreaming of a child, a frog crept out of the water and said to her, 'Your wish shall be fulfilled. Before a year has passed you shall bring a daughter into the world'."**_

And the queen was overjoyed by the frog's words.

"EWW! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!"

Gamabunta (the "frog") crept away. "You should be grateful." And with that, the frog (toad) swam away, bringing the tape of the queen's naked video to its owner, much to the queen's irritation.

"_**And since frogs are such magical creatures, it was no surprise that before a year had passed, the queen had a baby girl."**_

"Aww!" Konan enthused, holding the baby close. "Isn't she so beautiful? I think her name will be... Sakima. What do you think, Pein?"

"_**The child was so beautiful and sweet that the king could not contain himself for joy." **_

"Great... now let's move on."

"My Crown. Your face. Oh, the endless possibilities."

"I-I mean! I'm so joyous! Let's throw a feast in honor of her birth."

"_**He prepared a great feast and invited all his friends, family and neighbors."**_

"Everyone will be there!" Konan smiled pleasantly, kissing Sakima's forehead.

"_**The king invited the fairies, too, in order that they might be kind and good to the child. There were thirteen of them in his kingdom, but as the king only had twelve golden plates for them to eat from, one of the fairies had to be left out. None of the guests were saddened by this, as the thirteenth fairy was known to be cruel and spiteful."**_

The thirteen fairies were all so beautiful, kind, and gentle.

"HELL NO!!" (follow the script, Zetsu!)

Out of all of the twelve fairies that arrived, three of them stood out.

They were...

Sashimi, the smartest of the group.

Yumi, the kindest of the group.

And Sapphire, the strangest.

(Sapphire: "WHO YOU CALLING STRANGE?! Next time I see Shikamaru I'm gonna kick him right in the--" *sees wand* "Ooh, shiny".)

"_**An amazing feast was held, and when it came to an end, each of the fairies presented the child with a magic gift." **_

Fairy Zetsu gave the gift of, uh, beauty...

"Even though he had none himself." (Hidan, shush, you don't come until later.)

Anyway, Zetsu:

"You'll grow beautifully just as I myself have."

*barfing noises ensue*

Fairy Tobi had the gift of kindness.

"Because being a good girl is good!"

Fairy Itachi gave the gift of purity.

"Yeah... this one's self explanatory. Hn..."

Fairy Sasori gave the gift of patience.

"And when someone stands you up, you'll magically disembowel 'em."

Fairy Deidara gave the gift of humility.

"Because my gift is the absolute best of them all, hmm." (irony)

Fairy Kisame gave the gift ofperseverance.

"I think Gai should have been this fairy..."

Fairy Sasuke gave the gift of, urm, honesty...

"If you say anything about my wings I'll _Chidori_ your face."

Fairy Suigetsu gave the gift of wealth.

Fairy Karin gave the gift of virtues.

"Tch. Too bad she's a slu-- OUCH!"

"SHUT UP, SUIGETSU!"

And, of course, the three most important fairies:

Fairy Sashimi gave the gift of knowledge.

Fairy Yumi gave the gift of fortitude.

"_**After eleven of the fairies had presented their gifts, the thirteenth suddenly appeared." **_

A cloud of gray smoke broke out in the middle of the ballroom, cackling emitting from it.

"Oh, no. It can't be!" gasped the king.

"How dare you not invite me!" screeched the thirteenth fairy, rasping a bit.

"_**Yeah, so the thirteenth fairy then appeared. She was angry and wanted to show her spite for not having been invited to the feast."**_

"Okay, one, I'm not a SHE. And two, why would I want to go to this feast? The king and queen have spent too much money on all of it anyway." (please follow the script, Kakuzu...)

"_**Without hesitation she called out in a loud voice..." **_

"When she is sixteen-years-old, the princess shall prick herself with a spindle and shall fall down dead," Kakuzu replied, with the audacity to sound bored.

"No!" The queen felt a pang of sorrow in her heart and broke down in tears. But her husband, Pein, quickly spoke to change Kakuzu, the evil fairy's, mind.

"You should be _grateful _we didn't invite you!"

"You're knees would have given out long before you got here, hmm." (Quiet! Fairy Deidara)

"Well, you could have used your Hoverround or cane, but we still thought of you!" Pein cried, trying to get Kakuzu to reconsider the curse.

"I don't want to hear it. I wasn't invited, and I've already cursed your daughter. And I do not need my Namenda (Alzheimer's drug), cane, Hoverround, pacemaker, OR oxygen, _thank you very much_." Then without another icy word, she turned and left the hall. ("I'm a HE!")

"_**The guests were horrified and the queen fell to the floor sobbing." **_

"Umm... Yeah, I'm not doing that..." (Just do as the script says, Konan.)

The queen fell to the ground in a fit of agony-filled tears.

"_**But the twelfth fairy, whose wish was still not spoken, quietly stepped forward." **_

"Oh? That's me, isn't it?! Oh, yeah."

The twelfth fairy stepped forward, wand in the air. "But this looks like a stick...?" (Shut up, Sapphire.)

"_**Her magic could not remove the curse, but she could soften it, so she said..."**_

"No, your daughter won't die, instead she'll fall into a deep sleep that will last one hundred years!"

Everyone in the room stared at the fairy as she planted her gift on the baby princess. "One. Hundred. Years?" the king answered, teeth grit tightly. "My daughter's going sleep for _one hundred Jashin-damn years _before she can wake up?"

The blue fairy just shrugged. "You want her dead or alive? My gift is life and that's what I gave her."

"_**Over the years, the promises of the fairies came true, one by one. The princess grew to be beautiful, graceful, modest, kind and clever. Everyone who saw her could not help but love her."**_

"Hey you diptard, what did you just call me?!" Sakima snarled at drunken pervert who had been walking by. "Umm...?" was the only thing he could get out before he was pummeled into the ground. ("Ouch... dattebayo.")

"_**The king and queen were determined to prevent the curse placed on the princess by the spiteful fairy, and sent out a command that all the spindles in the whole kingdom should be destroyed. No one in the kingdom was allowed to tell the princess of the curse that had been placed upon her, for they did not want her to worry or be sad." **_

"Burn _all _of the spindles!" the orange-haired king called loudly. There was a nod and then a call of "_Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!_" from the kingdom's best spindle burner, Hatake Kakashi.

"_**On the morning of her sixteenth birthday, the princess awoke early, excited to be another year older. She was up so early in the morning that she realized everyone else was still asleep." **_

"I'm bored out of my mind..." said princess sighed, letting her head rest on the sofa. She had only one white earbud in her ear, switching between _My Life Would Suck Without You_ and _Viva La Vida_ on the purple iPod in her hands.

"_**The princess decided to roam through the halls to keep herself occupied until the rest of the castle awoke." **_

"Damn, I need a docking station..." she muttered, standing up and looking throughout all of the mundane rooms she had been inside over a hundred times.

"_**She wandered about the whole place, looking at rooms and halls as she pleased. And at last she came to an old tower. She climbed the narrow, winding staircase and reached a little door. A rusty key was sticking in the lock and when she turned it, the door flew open."**_

She blinked, staring as the door creaked as it came to a stop. "...Okay then..."

"_**In a little room sat an old woman with a spindle, busily spinning her flax **_(Kakuzu: I'm a HE!)_**. The old woman was so deaf that she had never heard the king's command that all spindles should be destroyed."**_

"Oh, hi, Kakuzu. What the hell are you doing spinning flax?!" Then she smirked. "Getting in tuned with your inner dotard are you?"

'Kakuzu' glared at her intently. "Shut up and say the right line."

Sakima quickly hid her smirk, replacing it with burning curiosity. "Good morning, _Granny_," said the princess, "What are you doing?"

Though through grit teeth, the old woman answered, "I am spinning, what does it look like?"

Sakima watched the spindle thoughtfully before asking, "What is the thing that whirls round so merrily?" she reached to touch it, but the old women quickly pulled it away. "You'll prick your finger, _dear_." (Sakima shuddered.)

"Actually... I don't think I want to, now that you insist." And with that, the old women's first plans were thwarted.

"Damn!"

* * *

When the rest of the castle was awake, the three fairies quickly began planning the things to do for the princess' birthday. Since it was a surprise, they told her to leave and go pick some berries in the forest.

"You want me to pick _berries_?" Sakima deadpanned.

"Yeah, why berries? Are we going to be making fruit smoothies?!" Sapphire chimed in, almost hopeful. She got smacked with the rolling pin for her troubles.

"No! Fine, don't pick berries. Go and... go and, uh... get a docking station for your iPod," Sashimi replied, her words cool and clever.

"Yes, go get a docking station. We know you've been wanting one," Yumi supplied helpfully.

"Hell yeah! Finally!" Sakima exclaimed, turning on her heels to leave. "Well, later! I'll be back soon." With that, she was out of sight.

* * *

Who should also be needing a docking station was none other than the prince of the kingdom Yugakure, Hidan.

He had been sprawled out across his bed, blasting _Stupid MF _and _You Gonna Go Far Kid_ at top volume.

"Umm... P-Prince H-Hidan... c-could you please turn that d-down..." one of his meek servants inquired, her voice barely penetrating his eardrum.

"Wha? What do you want, Hinata?!"

"P-Please... t-t-t-t-turn down your m-music! Please!" She had rushed to add the last part, probably because Hidan didn't look very happy then. "It'll be as loud as I f***ing want it to be!" he screeched, just as loud as the music itself.

With the added voice to the blasting of the stereo, the prince's docking station fell right over to the floor with a _clang _and a sickening _crack_ afterwards.

"What the..." After he spun around Hidan was met with the broken shards of his black docking station piled on the floor. And in a low murmur, "...f***."

There was a moment of silence, and in that space of time, Hinata was met with the resounding horror that Hidan might actually be _mourning _the poor inanimate object, for it barely lived a year.

"It's broken..." he ground out, fist clenched. Hinata jumped to the rescue-- or at least, she tried to. "I-I'll go purchase you a new one!" Anything to _not_ have to be with Hidan any longer.

"No, you've done enough. I'll buy it myself," Hidan snapped, making the white-eyed girl nod furiously and bow. "O-Of course!" With that, she ran off to go find protection with the hoards of other servants.

"Great," the white-haired prince growled, inspecting his broken electronic. "Well, off to the Jashin-damned _Apple_ store."

* * *

Princess Sakima and her guards were waltzing through the _Apple_ store in no time. The princess's black eyes scanned the vast store, searching for a docking station. Maybe one in purple...

Even after twenty minutes, she still hadn't found what she was looking for. "Oh, damn. Where could it b--"

_BAM_

She fell to the ground, pulling a dark glare onto her face quickly. "Hey," was the only thing she got out. She had been ready to begin ranting, but instead was beat to it.

"Hey, watch where you're going!"

The black-haired beauty looked affronted. "You trampled in front of me first!"

_Who is this...? _She stared at him, silver-haired and violet-eyed. He wore a strange pendant with a shape she didn't recognize.

After a silent moment to think, the stranger seemed to have... 'calmed down'. "Do you know where the docking stations are?"

Too bad Sakima was still a bit pissed...

"Do I look like I work here? Ask an employee, shit-for-brains."

"Jeez, feisty," the male replied, smirking. Sakima answered that with turning around and leaving.

She didn't get far before she noticed the stranger had followed her. "What do _you_ want?" He continued giving her that broad smirk. "What's you're name?"

A bit nonplussed by the question at first, Sakima composed herself and stared at him. "Sakima... Why do you want to know?" He shrugged nonchalantly, answering, "No reason."

"And what about you?"

"My name's Hidan."

"Okay... then..."

"Do you know where the docking stations are?

_Hasn't he already asked that? _

As the two continued chatting, evil lurked in the other half of the store. The thirteenth evil fairy was waiting, ready to put her next plot into action.

She (Kakuzu: I'm a _he_. What am I? Deidara all of a sudden?!) cackled evilly, waiting for Princess Sakima to make her way over to that part of the store.

"What shape is that on your pendant?" Sakima asked, only half interested. Hidan, who hadn't yet lost his insane smirk, widened it. "It's for my deity, Jashin. He's the god of suffering and bloodshed."

She had to admit that was a bit interesting. "How many followers does "Jashin" have?"

Hidan made a noise between a screwed bray, screech and a choke. "Billions!"

_Somehow that doesn't seem believable right now, _she thought deviously.

Sakima decided to change the subject, pointing at an employee up ahead. "Ask him about the docking stations."

"Hey, you!"

Hidan harassed the strange employee for quite some time. And _finally_, he got the direct answer of "Docking stations aren't sold here, _stupid_." Sakima was left with the trouble of having to calm down an angry Hidan, who all of a sudden wanted to sacrifice an employee named Sai that kept rambling in circles and shooting him fake smiles.

"I'm going home," Hidan snapped, turning hastily around and leaving. Sakima was left not really knowing _how_ that man's brain worked. If they didn't have any docking stations, she might as well search around the store for something else.

She traipsed towards the other side of the store, looking at the packaged computer plugs. One thing caught her eye, however: One box had been ripped open and left open. And the plug was all but falling out.

"Stupid employees," she muttered, reaching out to the plug.

"_**But she had scarcely touched the spindle, urr, plug, when it pricked her finger. At that moment she fell to the floor and lay still in a deep sleep."**_

Her two guards were shocked, and they immediately proceeded to trying to wake the poor princess up. It hit them both that she must have pricked her finger and fallen into a deep sleep.

(Naruto: Wait a second, wait a second! I don't understand this one bit! The curse _clearly_ said that she would prick her finder on a _spindle_, not a computer plug!

Kiba: Yeah! How sharp are those things anyway? Not very much!

Akamaru: *barks in anger*

Shikamaru: I'm reading it as it says. Now shut up, this is already troublesome as it is. And say your lines correctly.)

"We must bring her to the queen immediately, dattebayo," her first guard exclaimed. He was met with a nod from the other guard and his guard dog. The two quickly scooped up the princess and bolted out of the store and back to the palace.

* * *

"_**Back at the palace, due to the, uh, 'gift' given by the third fairy, the king, queen and servants **_(Naruto: Why do I feel sleepy, tebayo?)_** fell asleep too. The horses fell asleep in the stables, the dogs in the yard, the doves on the roof, and the flies on the wall. Even the fire in the hearth grew still and went to sleep. The kitchen maid, who sat with a chicken before her, ready to pluck its feathers, fell asleep.**_ (Tenten: I'm a _kitchen mai--_ *snores*) _**The cook was in the midst of scolding the kitchen boy **_

_**(Konohamaru) for a mess he'd made, but they both fell fast asleep. The wind died down and on the trees in front of the castle not a leaf stirred.**_

"_**Round the castle, a hedge of brier roses (coughZetsu'soldgirlfriendscough) began to grow up. Every year it grew higher until at last, nothing could be seen of the sleeping castle."**_

(Zetsu: Grow, my pretties, grow!!!)

The only good news was that the princess had made it home safely. And she had been placed into her bed to sleep.

Even the fairies were forced into the deep slumber.

"YAY! Sleep! Tobi'll be a good boy and sleep like a log!~"

"Ooh, Sasuke, let's sleep together!"

"Let's not."

"Back off, Karin, I'm sticking to Sasuke like glue."

"Quiet, Suigetsu!"

"Aren't you guys supposed to be asleep?"

"Ummm..."

"_**Snoring took over the entire castle. For years. **_

"_**There was a legend in the land about the lovely Sleeping Beauty, as the king's daughter was called, and from time to time, princes came and tried to force their way through the hedge and into the castle. But they found it impossible for the thorns, as though they were alive, grabbed at them and would not let them through.**_

_**After many years, a prince came again to the country and heard a servant of his tell the tale of the castle which stood behind the brier hedge and the beautiful princess who had slept within for a hundred years."**_

"Yes, she's been asleep for one hundred years. And I think she still remains just as beautiful!" Hidan's servant Hinata told the other maids in a hush-hush voice.

Hidan perked his ears. "One hundred years? Damn, she must look like a fossil." He couldn't resist to snicker.

"N-No, Your Majesty! She must be very beautiful to be called the 'sleeping beauty'!" Hinata countered, stuttering, blushing.

Hidan turned towards her, tweaking an eyebrow. "What's her real name?" Hinata felt her voice temporarily die in her throat for unknown reasons. "U-Umm... I, uh... I-I believe her name was... Sakima."

Pink eyes widened. "S-Sakima?! You mean that hot chick I met at that shitheap of an electronics store?!" (A/N: I don't really mean that _Apple_!!! You do not have a shitheap of a store!)

Hinata turned redder-- if that was even possible. "'H-Hot... chick'?"

Hidan nodded. "Yeah, she was beautiful and feisty, and would kick any other girl's ass any day. Damn! And she's the one sleeping for one-hundred f***ing years?!" Hidan snapped away from his dreamland instantaneously, then. Hinata could only nod slowly.

"I'm going to go save her and make her mine. Well, goodbye," and with that curt remark, he saddled up, and rode off on his speedy steed.

"CAN'T YOU MOVE ANY FASTER YOU GODDAMN FOAL?!"

"_**He heard also that many princes had tried to make it through the brier hedge, but none had succeeded and many had been caught in it and died. Some had even lost limbs like arms." **_(Deidara: And it wasn't fun, either. ...Hey, wait a second, why the hell do I have _two _roles?!

Sapphire: You wanna be the horse Hidan's kicking instead?

Hidan: MOVE YOU GODDAMN THING!

Deidara: Uhh... No. Armless is good.)

"_**The young prince said, "I am not afraid. I must go and see this Sleeping Beauty. **_(Hidan: I have to say WHAT?!)

"_**His white-eyed servant did all in her power to persuade him not to go, but the prince would not listen." **_

"Well, umm... b-be careful Prince Hidan!" Hinata called, waving sadly. Hidan nodded and rode off to rescue his princess.

... While Hinata had a party to celebrate his departure. ("Good riddance!")

"_**Now the hundred years had just ended. When the prince approached the brier hedge, it was covered with beautiful large roses. The shrubs made way for him of their own accord and let him pass unharmed." **_

"Are you f***ing kidding me?! All this fuss and I don't get to sacrifice anything! This bites," Prince Hidan growled, stomping through the hedge.

"But you still have to go through me!" The evil thirteenth fairy fell in front of the prince, cackling horrendously.

The prince, unfortunately looked petrified. Was it the fact that the evil fairy had gotten stronger? Was it because she was more eviler than before?

"Oh, shit! You must be, what? _One-hundred_ _ninety_ years old now, right, Kakuzu? OH COLD F***! How you do even WALK any more, you dinosaur?! I'm shocked you still have _feeling _in your hips.--" "SILENCE!" the thirteenth fairy screeched, coughing slightly.

"Enough with the old jokes! I'm a _fairy_ we don't age! Now, I'm going to kill you!"

"_**Holding her evil wand of doom --man, that sounded lame-- the evil fairy shot out a burst of power, straight towards the prince." **_

Fortunately, all the prince needed to do to dodge was take a step to the right.

"I think your eyes are failing you, too, Kakuzu," the prince mumbled, grabbing hold of his scythe to shield the next attack.

Before long, the thirteenth fairy was chasing a cackling Hidan around, missing epically with the shots from her wand.

"Can't catch me! I _knew _you needed to take that Relafen (artritis drug that helps to treat pain) before the show!" The silver-haired man laughed and laughed until all of the laughing made him slow down.

Now that he was slow and was too tired to run, he was a perfect target for the golden ager-- I mean thirteenth fairy!!

"Now, I'll kill you for all of those comment!" the fairy growled, holding up her wand triumphantly. However, her yellow blast was dodged with a red one. And standing there, protecting the prince, were the three fairies.

"Wow, Kakuzu, long, _long_ time, no see," Yumi snickered, waving her wand and smirking.

"You really let yourself go..." Sashimi nodded. And Sapphire was too awe-struck and disgusted at how many wrinkles upon wrinkles Kakuzu had acquired to come up with something to say.

"Oh, shut up!" Kakuzu lowered his royal green eyes at the three newcomers to the battle.

"One thing would solve this problem immediately," Sashimi, who was still the smartest in the group, decided knowingly. Yumi caught on quickly and didn't try to suppress an evil smirk. All three fairies held up their wands in a three-way attack.

But nothing happened.

That was, until they all let out a small call of, "Kakuzu, the retirement home people are coming to take you away with them."

Horror struck the thirteenth fairy in an instant. "No."

"And you can eat denture-friendly pea soup all day long," Sapphire added in a sing-song tone.

In the distance, the sound of the retirement home bus bleeped. It was followed by the sound of the ambulance car siren.

"Oh, and you hear that, Kakuzu?" Yumi added darkly. "The best medic-nin around is in that truck. Her name is Caroline. And she's the leader of the best medic _team_ in the world."

Sashimi smirked. "And do you know who else is on her team? Two other boys and a girl."

Kakuzu glowered. "No... who?"

Sapphire flew over to him with a vile smile. "Their names are _Kodora_, his brother _Ichigo_, and _Tentenperson_, and they all have no experience whatsoever."

Kakuzu's glare didn't change. "What about Caroline?"

"Hmm..." the blue-haired fairy thought for a minute. "She'll be watching. Its her student's first _test_."

The evil fairy turned around and headed straight for the hills, screaming and crying at the top of her lungs. She, of course, didn't get very far. The ambulance caught her and dragged her off, down the road for a dreaded hip replacement. (Caroline: This won't hurt a bit. Ichigo: And I know the right amount of anesthesia to put, too! Kakuzu: That looks like acid. Ichigo: Uh... Kodora: Patients don't get to talk. Shut up. Tentenperson: What's this _shiny_ thing? Caroline: That's a scalpel. Tentenperson: Can I throw it at people? Kodora: Yeah... The patient, when he's asleep.)

No one could hear the thirteenth fairy's screams.

"Well, that seems to be it," Hidan sighed, standing up. "Now, to go rescue my future wife!"

"_**In the courtyard, the prince saw the horses and dogs lying asleep. **_(Hidan: Mmm, horse meat.)_** On the roof sat the sleeping doves with their heads tucked under their wings. When he went into the house, the flies were asleep on the walls and the servants asleep in the halls. Near the throne lay the king and queen, sleeping peacefully beside each other. **_

(Konan: Pein, stop snoring.

Pein: Deal with it.

Konan: I'll kick you.

Pein: Or I could use some Breath Right nasal strips!

Konan: Yeah, that's what I thought.)

_**In the kitchen, the cook, the kitchen boy and the kitchen maid all slept with their heads resting on the table.**_

"_**The prince went on farther. All was so still that he could hear his own breathing. At last he reached the tower and opened the door into the little room where the princess was asleep. There she lay, looking so beautiful that he could not take his eyes off her." **_

"What an angel Jashin has blessed me with."

"_**He bent down and gave her a gentle kiss, soft lips savoring the sweet taste of roses. As he touched her, Sleeping Beauty opened her eyes and smiled up at him."**_

"Haven't we meant before?" she asked, still keeping the pleasant smile across her lips.

"Yeah," Hidan nodded slowly, still unable to take his eyes off her. "It was once upon a dream or some BS like that."

"_**Throughout the castle, everyone and everything woke up and looked at each other with astonished eyes."**_

"Damn, Orochimaru. You're uglier than when we fell asleep."

"Put a lid on it, Suigetsu."

"_**And within the month, the prince and his sleep**__less__** beauty were married and lived happily all their lives."**_

"...I still want my new docking station."

"Hidan, shut up and kiss me."

* * *

_**After Party**_

_**And**_

_**Credits**_

_**And **_

_**Cast**_

Kakashi: That's a wrap.

Cast: YES!

Naruto: YEAH!! Now it's time for the after party! Ichiraku ramen here I come!

Kakashi: Not so fast, Naruto.

Naruto: Aw, what?!

Sasuke: We still have the long credits to go through.

Naruto: What?! You mean I have to wait?!

Sasuke: That's what it seems like, loser.

Sapphire X Dreams: I've used... some people's OCs that don't belong to me and I didn't get permission to use. *nervous laughter* Such as Sashimi, Yumi, Caroline, Ichigo, Kodora, and Tentenperson.

Suigetsu: Wha?! That's like the entire cast! ...And where the hell was Juugo through all of this?

Sapphire: *falls to the ground, bowing* So I sincerely hope Sashimi, Yumi, Caroline, Ichigo, Kodora, and Tentenperson will not personally hunt me down for using their characters in such a silly way!

Sapphire X Dreams: Anyway, Juugo was originally a fairy. However, I needed to take away him because there were only supposed to be _thirteen_ fairies. So, yeah, Juugo went bye-bye.

Juugo: *cries*

Naruto: Are we done, now?!

Sapphire X Dreams: I need to post the cast and credits, _then_ you can gorge yourself.

Sapphire X Dreams: _**Naruto**_ or any of this wonderful anime's characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi. The story of _Sleeping Beauty_ belongs to the Brothers Grimm. The elements from the _Disney_ movie, belong to _Disney_. iPods and docking stations belong to _Apple_, and... uh... the person that made docking _most _(not completely all) of the words done in bold and italic font (Shikamaru when he was story-telling) WERE NOT WRITTEN BY ME! And of course, Sakima, Hidan, Caroline, Yumi, Sashimi, Kodora, Tentenperson, and Ichigo's characters all belong to their rightful owners. _Viva La Vida _belongs to Coldplay, _My Life Would Suck Without You_ belongs to Kelly Clarkson, _Stupid MF_ belongs to Mind Self Indulgence, and _You Gonna Go Far Kid_ belongs to Offspring. And I do not own any of the Alzheimer's or arthritis drugs named.

Naruto: C'mon, c'mon! Let's hurry up with the cast!!

(listed in the order of appearance):

**Story Teller: **Nara Shikamaru

**King: **Pein

**Queen: **Konan

**Magic Frog/Toad: **Gamabunta

**Princess/Brier Rose/Sleeping Beauty:** 'Uchiha' Sakima

**Fairy One: **Zetsu

**3 Special Fairies: **Sashimi, Yumi, Sapphire

**Fairy Two: **Tobi

**Fairy Three: **Itachi

**Fairy Four: **Sasori

**Fairy Five: **Deidara

**Fairy Six: **Kisame

**Fairy Seven: **Sasuke

**Fairy Eight:** Suigetsu

**Fairy Nine: **Karin

**Evil/Anti-Fairy: **Kakuzu

**Drunken Man: **Naruto

**Spindle Burner: **Kakashi

**Prince: **Hidan

**Prince's Main Servant: **Hinata

**Hidan's Fake god: **Jashin (Hidan: HE IS _NOT_ FAKE! Itachi: He's not real, either.)

**Apple Store Employee: **Sai

**Princess Sakima's Guard 1: **Naruto

**Princess Sakima's Guard 2: **Kiba

**Princess Sakima's Guard Dog: **Akamaru

**Kitchen Maid: **Tenten

**Kitchen Boy: **Konohamaru

**Brier Roses: **Zetsu's old girlfriends

**Hidan's 'Noble Steed': **Danzo

**Late Pathetic (Limbless) Knight: **Deidara ('cuz I thought it would be funny)

**Medical Team: **Caroline, Kodora, Tentenperson, Ichigo

Naruto: Ramen, _now_?

Sapphire X Dreams: Yeah, Naruto. Have at it.

Naruto: YES!!! *runs off*

Itachi: What's the next play going to be about?

Sapphire X Dreams: *grabs pencil with evil smirk* I was thinking Snow White. :D

Cast: O.o Oh, dear Jashin no.

Sapphire X Dreams: Oh, YES!!


End file.
